To My Visitors

I've noticed a good deal of my random visitors (around 50%) come after finding me via Google searches. I apologize because I've mislead you all.

Here are some popular searches:

By far the largest contingent of visitors would be those looking for Alana de la Garza, the actress who plays the ADA on Law and Order. I don't know why they're directed to my site, but I presume it's because I've linked to her picture here. To you, because you probably aren't aware, here is a Google Image Search and the Wiki page of my future girlfriend.

The next largest faction consists of--and this is especially popular in Europe--consists of people doing searches on champagne enemas, or champagne piss enema orgies, or champagne enema ass piss. I can tell they're especially desperate because my blog is around the 30th or 40th listed (why? Here). Champagne enema visitors, I won't link you to another site, but I'll say that the first handful of hits are usually your best bet for champagne enema ass piss orgy videos.

The next largest contingent consists of people searching for dialogues. Dialogues about the weather. I'm not sure why, but "dialogue about weather" seems to be a popular search among South American countries. ¿Que onda, Peru? ¿Por que? Not sure what you're looking for, but here, you'll remain unsatisfied.

To the other 50% of my visitors, those who've been tricked by Yelp or other blogs into coming: suckers.