Law and Order

My friends, I’m a big fan of Law and Order. I’m such a huge fan that I’ve written a scene of the show. It is my masterpiece, my greatest work. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed visualizing it:

Judge: I grant the defense’s motion to suppress the gun.

Jack McCoy: Your honor!

Judge: Watch it, McCoy, you’re treading on thin ice.

Jack McCoy: This is unbelievable! The detectives had every right to—

Judge: That’s it, McCoy, I’m holding you in contempt!

Jack McCoy: There’s no court in session—

Judge: McCoy, you’ll shut your mouth or I’ll have the bailiff remove you.

Defense Attorney: Your honor, in light of recent developments, the defense motions to suppress all evidence.

Judge: Motion granted.

Defense Attorney: Motion to suppress the Assistant Prosecutor’s clothing.

Judge: Motion granted.

Assistant Prosecutor: [Looks to Jack McCoy.]

Jack McCoy: Do it, Connie. We can’t afford to lose this case.

Judge: I warned you, McCoy! Bailiff, remove this man.

Waiter: I’m just a waiter.

Assistant Prosecutor: [Removes clothing.]

[Brief tableau.]

Defense Attorney: Motion to suppress the prosecution.

Judge: Motion granted.

[End scene.]