Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tom and Jerry

I love Tom and Jerry. I've often wondered how their antics translate into real life.

Here, for instance, Tom is chasing Jerry.

Real life? Ah, shit.

Here, Tom and Jerry are fencing.

In real life? Oh no! Jerry, watch out!

Here is a duel over what appears to be a case of tomatoes.

What a waste.

Monday, May 12, 2008

There's a Moth in My Room

I contemplated destroying it.

It was fluttering around, circumventing the circle of light the lamp lit on the ceiling, landing on the wall and curling into itself. Everyone kills moths. It knows this. I know it knows this and it knows that I know this. I decided against its obliteration, though. So, I’m wondering: will it attempt to kill me while I sleep?

It is the next logical step.

I’ve lost track of it. Perhaps it went into stealth mode. Perhaps it’s plotting against me. Perhaps I should seek out the beast and lay upon its face a swift swing of my fist. My friend exacted a similar campaign against an unwanted houseguest. She was much more humane, granting the creature its life while I seek to destroy it--if I wake, that is (as my life is in danger you see).

Perhaps the moth has garnered the support of its family. Perhaps I should be wary of moths from hereon.

Perhaps it has turned my family against me.

No, that’s crazy.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Three Words

Champagne, asshole, party. What do they have in common?

A champagne enema orgy? How I wish!

No, they are the songs of three comedians-turned-musical-geniuses.

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

For the Champagne Enema Orgy, click here. Haha, frank so funny. That's as good as it's getting this month, folks.