Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Origin of Valentine's Day

It is said that in the days of yore, a mythical beast of the vale with "eyes of blood, scales black like death, and claws as long as men along its back" (Roberts 1) would terrorize feudal villages surrounding castles, swallow people whole (usually lovers in the act of coitus), and set entire forests ablaze. Speculation arose as to why those within castle walls remained safe, but recent research suggests that a tiny medicinal plant grown by the king's doctor was responsible for warding off the beast of the vale (Kingston 2). Knowing this, the king would dispatch his court to spread the medicinal plant--scientific name: Thymus Vulgaris, vulgaris from the greek 'vul,' to ward, and the Latin 'gar,' meaning beast (Doris 1)--throughout the bordering villages.

In one such instance, the king's jester, rushing the plant to a nearby village, encountered the beast of the vale and stood steadfast. The beast, never so closely coming across the plant, ran into the forest forever disappearing from the kingdom. Proclaiming victory, the king announced "The Beast of Vale-thyme Day" be celebrated throughout his kingdom. Lovers rallied and began celebrating Valethyme Day with rebellious acts of romance against the beast. As generations came and went, the Valethyme Day celebrations were forgotten and eventually replaced by a celebration of he who stood his ground against the beast of vale, the jester Valentine.


Smivey said...

Dude, tell me something I didn't know. I come here for news.

City Elf said...

I told you this story in confidence!

frank said...

Christ, Smivey, we all know you're omniscient, alright?

And you knew I was going to plagiarize this as soon as it left your lips, elf.

Downtown Chick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Downtown Chick said...

Foucault said history and science are constructs.

But happy Valentine’s Day anyway Frank. Hope all is well, or if not, will.