Monday, December 17, 2007


There’s something about music, probably the way it sounds, that gets me all riled up. Drum n Bass (dnb), for example, is in essence a series of beats tied together with another series of beats in between beats. These beats, it turns out, synchronize with the beat of my heart giving me a rush of blood to the head. Doctors call this “cardiac arrhythmia,” and tell me it’s fatal. I call it “awesome.”

The actual term, though, is “audiophilic stimulation,” similar to “audiophallic stimulation,” the type you get when sitting on a speaker heavy with bass. It’s nothing like “autophallic stimulation,” the type you get in the shower or when you’re sitting alone in a dark room, flipping through a VS catalogue at three in the morning on a Sunday and you’re drunk and just found out your ex is going out with another guy and she is flaunting it and you trick yourself into believing that autophallic stimulation to Gisele while shouting maledictions will somehow help you obtain vengeance because you’re stupid with liquor.

Anyway, dnb, good stuff. Drunken misguided vengeance, still sounds like fun regardless of your intent.

If you’re interested in cardiac arrhythmia, or awesome, here’s one of my favorite dnb DJs, and he’s local:

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