Saturday, December 29, 2007

More Dialogue: The Magic 8 Ball

“Don’t do it.”

“Who said that?”

“Above you. Hi, I’m from the future. I’m you, actually, twenty or so years from today.”

“Oh! What’s up?”

“Just came back to tell you that the plan you’re thinking of right now worked. They paid the ransom.”

“What plan?”

“Hm. I guess I came back too early. I’ll see you in a few.”

Five minutes later.

“Welcome back. So you mean the plan with Jesus and Shakespeare and them?”

“Precisely. Here’s the ransom.”

“A Magic 8 Ball?”

“It really works! It’s from the year 3,000.”

“Sweet! Magic 8 Ball, what came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Ask Again Later.

“Try asking again.”

“Magic 8 Ball, chicken or egg?”

You May Rely On It.

“Piece of shit! I—we were jipped! Forget what I said and go with the plan. Write that letter to the future, but ask them to send an invisible time machine. Charlemagne doesn’t take too kindly to technology.”

"Will it be a fun adventure like the Bill and Ted movie?”

“More or less, except people actually die in this adventure and you're a criminal.”

“That’s not so excellent. Wait, why’d you ask for a Magic 8 Ball?”

“Man, I don’t know. I was drunk on the planet of the pleasure bots when I got my ransom. It was a Magic 8 Ball from the year 3,000, you expect stuff like that to work.”

“Treacherous bastards! I guess I would’ve thought the same.”

“Oh, you will. Just make sure the fucker works.”


“And beware the Time Pirates. They’re fun to party with for a night or two, but ditch’em afterwards. Good luck.”

“Thanks! See ya in twenty.”


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