Monday, October 15, 2007


It's true, ignorance is bliss.

Look at kids for example. Those little turds couldn't be happier. Why? Because they don't know what the hell is going on. Give them a rattle and they'll shake it until their arms fall off their fat bodies while their fat faces jiggle with laughter. Who the hell is amused with rattles? Ever seen a rattlesnake? Ghastly beasts I tell you! Play-doh! Would you ever eat Play-doh? NO! It tastes like shit and I know both tastes well! But kids devour it like caviar. What gives, you puny balls of plump?

As much as I hate the littles chubs, I do envy them. I wish I could live as an imbecile. I mean, compare the following scenarios:

frank: Doc, give it to me straight. Will I ever walk again?

Doctor: frank, your legs were blown clean off. Without some sort of medical miracle, I doubt your pathetic stumps will support even half your weight. Also, as a result of the explosion, your genitals were pulverized. This jar contains what used to be your left testicle. As you can see, it is dust. Literally, dust. Your legs are worse off. I think they vaporized. Can't find them anywhere. Anyway, no walking for you. Ever.


frank: Doc, give it to me straight. Will I ever walk again?

Doctor: Uh. . . yeah. Yeah, sure you will. I mean, your legs might feel pretty numb right now, so numb that you might think they're not there, but they are, and you can walk. As a matter of fact, you'll be able to fly. That'll come in handy because the explosion made you invulnerable, and you'll need to fly around to save people.

frank: Really, Doc! Like in Heroes?

Doctor: Sure, kid, like in whatever.

Which do you prefer? The sad, depressing reality of being a castrated paraplegic, or flying? Fucking flying, man! WOOSH! Hell yeah!

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