Star Trek

My friends, forget the Law and Order scene, I’ve trumped it with something so delicious it would seem that my writing skill has been increasing exponentially. Without further ado, my absolute greatest work, my magnum opus.

We begin after Star Trek: The Next Generation’s series finale, after Captain Picard saves humanity.

"Ensign, warp factor ass, engage!"

"Sir, I don't-- "

"Number One, lock this ass in her quarters and activate a stasis field around her ass."

"Captain, that's impossible."

"Riker, do as I say. Warp factor ass, engage!"

Aside:
"I don't know. Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"What's that muttering back there?"

"Working on warp factor ass, captain."

"Excellent. Number One, how is that stasis field coming along?"

"Captain, it remains impossible to isolate a stasis field around one woman's ass."

"Jean-Luc, maybe you should get some rest."

"Beverly, kiss my ass, warp factor eight. Engage!"