Battle of Potato

"Where did you get this?"

"I got this in the war. Yeah, The Battle of Potato. I got cocky and overzealous. I peeled without regard for anybody’s safety. I ended up peeling my pinky. It’s a lesson I’ll never forget."

"And this one?"

"This one was near the end of the war at The Battle of Tomato. 'Slice! Slice faster,' they yelled. I sliced as fast as I could, but the knives we were issued were duller than butter knives. Do you know how hard it is to slice tomatoes with a dull knife? It’s fucking hard! I sliced and sliced and sliced, tomato after tomato after tomato. I was so tired and scared. I never seen so much red. They tell you in training not to close your eyes, even for a second. I tell ya, those bastards know what they’re talking about. I closed my eyes and when I opened them . . . . It was my knuckle, cut almost down to the bone."

"Baby, you’re so brave!"

"You gotta be."

"And these?"

"This was in The Battle of Carrot. I was shot three times in the chest."